Mothers are such strange beings. All they ever want is happiness for their children when all their children want is to get away from her, not realizing what they are leaving behind. I am tainted too, thinking that I know best, for spending my teenage years, bereft from her and even being hurtful at times. But as soon as I was in my twenties, I realized that “Mothers actually do know best”.
Sadly, my soon wasn’t soon enough and it was time for me to lose her forever. And since then all I want is a second chance, chance to do it all over again, chance to be the daughter that I wanted her to have.
She was the best mother any girl could get. She wasn’t a very cuddling mother, the one who smothers their children in hugs and kisses, in fact, we literally, at times, had to beg for a kiss or a hug, but I have never ever wanted to even change a single hair on her head. She kept my feet on ground, always did what was best for me, and defied her feelings and societal norms when it came to me, she loved me a lot, in her own strange way and I realized that too late. When she left, there were many big gaping holes left in my life.
She played many roles, you know. She was my best friend, only best friend, she was my dad, my role model, my inspiration, my axis she was, and that world’s best mother too. I still remember she got up at nights in winters just to check if I had my blanket on properly. I never asked her to buy me things, she somehow, always knew what I needed.
She was a very strong woman too, whenever it was time for me to go back to hostel, she was the one who always smiled and chided me and other for being cry-babies, when in truth she cried buckets as soon as I left home.
The point of writing this is not telling people about my loss, but telling them what it is like to lose a mother. Imagine yourself in a world where no one loves you or appreciates you or even smiles at you, that is how the world looks like after she is gone. Even if you find a million people who love you more than anything, somehow it would never be enough. There will always be that void in your heart which will never fill.
Never disrespect your old lady, because trust me, when she is gone that will be the only thing that you will always remember. How you treated her that one time, how you shouted, the look in her eyes, the contours of her face. I know because I remember that one time too and doesn’t matter how much I repent it, it doesn’t go away.
Doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female, she certainly should be and is the number one woman of your lives.
She will always be there for you, always love you, no matter what you do. She will always give you her best.
Make time for her always, take her out, love her, respect her and if you are too far from her, just visit when you can and her once in every two or three days or daily if you can. All she wants from you is to hear your voice, to know that you are fine.
Her love is unconditional.
Love her while you still can.